06/26 - No Can Do
These are basically the shortcomings I'll admit to, the things that shocked me
the most, that at this point I would have a painstakingly hard time adjusting
to. I hope and think that if Japan is in my future I'll be able to adjust though,
and I'm pretty glad that most of the things people commonly complain about are
either absolutely no problem like the mannin densha or things I actually kind
of like, like washoku.
Health
I sent my mother an email immediately when I got to the classroom on the day my
host mother refused any sort of help from me when she was very, very sick. I told
my mom the story and basically told her please never to be like that, because
it makes the person trying to help you feel so awkward, in such a bad and scary
way, that I don't want to have to go through it again. This event among others
was probably a typical "culture shock," but if something bad had happened
I think it would have ended up much more than that, like something of a scarring.
Also, I've heard that when people become terminally ill in Japan it's usually
never mentioned and often families just let the diseases run their course, sort
of pretending everything is normal until death. Same thing with shame and psychological
health, although I'm glad to hear that the situation with never admitting to mental
health problems seems to be improving. The way bad health is perceived as shameful
or as a bother is seriously one of the craziest things I've ever seen, and shows
a tremendous difference in values.
Girls (please don't hate me)
This one's full of generalization, however, it's pretty important to me because
I kind of like Japanese girls. None of it is meant to be offensive, only analytical
and to be held close for the next time I come here, maybe. I like how they're
quiet (not silent, but sort of soft) and I like how they value a lot of genuine
things in guys. I might just be blind, but they're not very strategic or devious
in their ways either, like some girls I've known (and most whom I've dated!) have
been. What I found not to like is a much, much, deeper gossip chain, for example
you say anything to them you can be damn sure you've just said it to all their
closest friends. That combined with a privacy threshold light years in the personal
direction makes me very wary when thinking how I'd ever trust a Japanese girlfriend.
By that I mean there are many, many more things that they would keep an absolute
secret than 90% or more of any girls I've met in the US. Also, a lack of spontaneity
seems very common. A like for spontaneity is just kind of a personal preference
though, and I don't think it's very common in US girls either. Still, I didn't
come here with any plans to get hitched in a month (dumb in my opinion, to try
to begin anything serious in a 1 month period anyway) so I both made great friends
with a lot of gals as well as guys, and learned a thing or two or more, perhaps
for the future. Perhaps not.
Other
That's it. No really. I know it was only a month and there are more diametric
cultural differences to be found, but the rest of the crazy things I encountered
were completely, happily, bearable.